The Clerihew

Have you ever heard of the clerihew?

I had not, until I came across it in an Ann Althouse post on the subject.

"The first line is the name of the poem's subject, usually a famous person put in an absurd light. The rhyme scheme is AABB, and the rhymes are often forced. The line length and metre are irregular."

The first one ever written was:

Sir Humphry Davy
Abominated gravy.
He lived in the odium
Of having discovered sodium.

Sounds fun, eh?

Here are a couple I came up with this morning all with a Red Sox theme.1

The Great David Ortiz
Requires little analyses:
The quintessence of clutch
Ne'er too late nor too much.
Julián Tavares
Went batshit down in Juarez
Punched 3 guys in rapid staccato
Then munched his fish taco totally legato
The enigmatic David Price
We dreaded his plunks precise
But now he's in red stockings
O how we do love a good clocking!
Dan Shaughnessy
Was writ tall on the marquee
But Roberts stole third
And Dan's Curse fell like a turd
Hart Brachen
Supported frackin'
Hence to the Greens
He's wicked obscene

But don't let me have all the fun. Let's see what you've got.

1 I'm being careless with the truth here, as I actually started messing around with these yesterday afternoon rather than "this morning."